Conspiracy Theory

Who would have thought it would start so young? Ethan and Andrew conspiring against their mom? I thought I had a few years left to gear up and prepare myself against such attacks :-)

There I was, hiding for our game, "hide and seek," and the conspiracy began. I was laying on the top bunk in the boys room, staying as quiet as possible and laying as flat as possible when I heard Ethan. Ethan found Andrew hiding on the lower bunk and had yet to find me so the conversation went like this:

"Andrew, lay back down and hide."
"Why?"
"Because I want to find mom first so then she has to count next."
"OK."

Sure enough, Andrew laid back down and remained quiet in hopes that Ethan could find me and claim that he found me first so I would have to be the next counter! Can you believe that? They are definitely going to keep me my toes.

Then, to top it off, when Jason came home I explained this all to him. Jason just smiled and said, "That was clever." I said, "No, that was cheating." Jason then said, "It was still clever." GREAT! I can just imagine how the next 15 years are going to go....

The way it should be.

I just returned from the bus stop a much happier mom than yesterday. No cocky comments from fellow riders and I saw through the bus window a smiling Ethan looking at me while pointing to his friend, Linus, that sat next to him again as to say, "I am OK, mom, I have Linus." Everything is right with the world.

Oh, and also....

He got a sticker for good behavior today! We are going to celebrate his start of school by going to Don Pablo's for dinner, per his request. Ethan and Andrew like the way Don Pablo's is decked out with Mexican decor. Andrew asked if we were in Italy (where Aunt Robyn is) last time we were there....he sensed it was a different culture, just wasn't sure which one.

All is well.....sigh

Ahhhh, I feel much better. This is a picture of Ethan getting off the school bus this afternoon (he is carrying the umbrella I left at his school yesterday) and the boy behind him is Linus, Ethan's friend. Linus (stop chuckling) sat with Ethan on the bus on the way to school. I guess my worrying was for naught. I hope this will get easier. I can dry my tears now.

Tears of Sadness

If you haven't read my previous post "Thank God for High School Spanish Class" read that first. It sets the tone for my tears for this post. After calling a little kid on his spanish insult of my son's umbrella, the bus approached. Ethan got in line and boarded the bus and sat right in the front seat, just like mommy and daddy advised him to do. He stood up and watched the rest of the kids board the bus, a look of expectancy that someone would sit with him. He didn't care that he didn't know the majority of them, he just wanted a friend and have someone sit with him. He was expressing concern at the breakfast table this morning that no one will sit with him on the bus because everyone already knows eachother (yesterday kids who were neighbors sat next to eachother) and he doesn't. I tried to comfort him explaining that yesterday was just the first day and he will get to know more people as time goes on. That doesn't suffice for Ethan because he is a #1 approval and friend seeker. If he doesn't have someone to play with or talk to, it is the end of the world. If we go to the park, and there isn't anyone there other than Andrew, he is bored to tears. He loves to be with other kids and get their "approval." Ethan is shy initially and will not make the first move. He will make himself be near other kids and wait for them to ask him to play. He strategically places himself near others hoping they will notice him and invite him over. So, as I saw the rest of the kids pile on the bus, including the couple of older kids Ethan did knnow, walk right past Ethan, I started to cry. The tears welled up and I was so sad. I know exactly how Ethan was feeling. The yearning for someone to take that first step and say "hi" or sit with him. If being on the bus for the first time by yourself isn't hard enough, Ethan just makes it harder by placing expectations on it. He expected to have friends right away and expected to have someone sit with him, even after I explained that he doesn't really know anyone yet. I can just bet his heart was breaking with each person that walked past him. As the bus pulled away, my tears increased and I slowly walked home with Andrew. Ethan craves companionship and desires friends of all ages and unfortunately these other kids don't know that. I hope Ethan is able to initiate some friendships or maybe he will be able to identify other lonely kids in the future and make them feel welcome and less lonely. That is my desire.

Thank God for High School Spanish Class

"The turtles es malo" a boy muttered under his breath, just loud enough for myself and my son who started kindergarten yesterday to hear. My ears perked because I knew he was referring to the very cool Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle umbrella my son was holding to deflect the drizzle. We just arrived at the busstop, our first official day of my son, Ethan riding the bus solo, with older kids and arriving at kindergarten all by himself. I was somewhat surprised at the large amount of kids at the school busstop but didn't think much of it. My younger son made quick friends with another child, asking him "how old are you?" and saying "I have a batman umbrella that my brother left as school yesterday." Ethan, however, stood quiet. He was nervous, and rightly so. A lot of older kids he didn't know and Ethan craves approval. He is shy initially but once someone shows interest, he is off and running trying to make them laugh or give some type of "you are cool" gesture so he can feel like he fits in. So, when I heard the phrase "The turtles es malo" I started to get a little angry. I knew the kid didn't think I knew spanish and I knew he was trying to make Ethan feel bad because he had an umbrella (this kid did not). Ethan didn't know what he was saying, but I did. I let him say it one more time and then I turned around and said, "So, Why do you think the Turtles are bad?" The kid didn't reply, probably not realizing I knew what he was saying. I repeated myself. He looked at me, not sure how to reply because you can bet he had no idea I knew spanish and he thought he was making me and my son feel bad. He said, "I don't know, its like a little kids show, I don't watch that anymore." So I asked him, "What do you watch?" "Cartoon Network." I continued, "So you watch like Foster's Home?" Another look of surprise. "Yeah," he said. I obviously caught this kid off gaurd and I was making him increasingly uncomfortable. I asked him what grade he was in and he ignored me and slipped away. Man, I thank God for my High School Spanish Class! This little punk was intentionally trying to make my son feel uncomfortable by mentioned the "turtles" and I called him on it. I have new resolve to learn more spanish and protect my son from people shooting their mouth off in attempts to make him feel inadequate and uncomfortable.

Here batter, batter, batter!

Swing
Originally uploaded by Lynnzee.

Ethan took a swing in the batting cages at Point Pleasant Beach. He hit 3 balls coming at him at 35 mph! Not too bad!

What did you say?

You Communicate With Your Ears

You love conversations, both as a listener and a talker. What people say is important to you, and you're often most affected by words, not actions. You love to hear complements from others. And when you're upset, you often talk to yourself. Music is very important to you. It's difficult to find you without your iPod.

How Do You Communicate?

Just a little "quiz" recommended by my sister, Robyn

YMCA

Ethan has learned to swim at the YMCA this summer. It has been really neat to see his progression from holding a kickboard with a floatbelt on to jumping off the diving board and swimming to the ladder over the last 10 weeks (he goes for 1/2 hour once a week).

God gives us "Next Times"

My brain was saying, "he didn't do it on purpose" but my rising blood pressure was hard to control so I ignored my brain and went with my physiological response to anger. Enter the need for grace. Ethan had just climbed over the newly contructed joists for our porch, sandals full of mud, and entered the front door of our house to get a toy. I saw him just as he was entering the front door and I shouted, "take off your shoes" as the door was closing behind him. I had my doubts that he heard me so when he returned outside I asked him if he had taken his shoes off. "No" was the response. I proceeded to ask him if he got mud on the carpet and he answered "No." I figured I better check just in case. I climbed the same joists and peered in the doorway and to my horror was not one or two, but numerous muddy footprints on my carpet. My carpet is light enough to show mud and there was no denying the fresh stains. The anger arrived. "I don't have time for this, I don't want stains on the carpet, What was he thinking? Why didn't he just think? He shouldn't have climbed over the joists in the first place. Why didn't he take his shoes off?" These questions raced through my mind as I surveyed the damage. I couldn't contain my disappointment and when confronting Ethan, he appeared to care less that he made such a mess - which made it even more disheartening. I reacted in a irrational way in hindsight. He didn't intentionally put mud on the carpet. I just couldn't find the grace that I needed to give to him. In the back of my mind I was thinking of the hymn "Grace, Grace, God's Grace, Grace that is greater than ALL my SIN" Why couldn't I give him the same grace? This was such a trivial mistake, yet I couldn't get over the fact that he didn't appear remorseful and I told him to go to his room and wait for me to get him. My subconscious was telling me that I was not reacting properly, that God forgives me and show me grace daily yet I felt that I needed to prove "a point" and not think he can "get away with" this type of behaviour or lack of respect. It was just muddy shoes! I let this little thing get the best of me and I did not show Ethan the proper way to respond to someone who makes a mistake. Yelling is so fruitless and doesn' accomplish anything (except cause me to get a sore throat). I should have said, "Ethan, I am disappointed that you came into the house with muddy shoes and didn't take them off. There is a very large mess to clean up because of it and it may leave marks on the carpet but I forgive you. Can you please help me clean it up?" That would have been such a better witness of grace to my son, acknowledging that I was not pleased with what he did, but nonetheless I forgive him. I know that just because I am parent doesn't mean that I don't have a lot to learn. I need to remember God's grace to me and find a way to reflect that to my children.

Thank God for His grace, forgiveness and for the "next times." I can always try to do better "next time."

Writer's Blog

I have a serious case of writer's blog (block). I desire to write something witty and cute but there is nothing right now very cute and witty in my life. Not to say nothing happened in the past few days, just not anything blog-worthy. The Phillies won 2 straight against the Mets, so that was good, the insurance paid a claim that I had appealed that was originally denied, so that was good. I made chocolate chip cookies from scratch which essence is now captured in my hair and i ate way too much cookie dough. I guess that is only interesting to me. Hmm. I will try again at another time. Sorry.

What was I thinking?

I said no to a trip to the Ice Cream Store. It is unfathomable that such words would come from my mouth, yet they did. My parents stopped by tonight to visit their boys and offered to go out for ice cream. I said no because the boys bedtime was approaching, along with shower time, along with the fact that Jason and I are tired from a weekend of work on the house. What is even more ludicrous is the fact that I am 99.9% sure that my dad would have treated, so not only did I say no to ice cream, but I said no to FREE ice cream! See what home projects do to rational thinking? It is thrown out the window (but not onto the porch, because ours is missing right now)! Anyway, I am listening the Phillies whoop the Mets so life isn't that bad and I do have some Edy's Light French Silk in the freezer (light means you can eat twice as much) so things could be worse.

Nothing is easy....ever

Well, what started out simply as wanting to repoint the brick on our house and
replace the railings and posts on the porch has turned into an entire summer
house project. My faithful and capable husband (along with some family and friends) chipped out all the old mortar and put new mortar in on the facade of our house, a small facade, yet it took several weekends and weeknights to complete this very detail-oriented work. Last weekend there was a light at the end of the tunnel, we planned on replacing the porch floor and proceed to the columns and rails and expected to be done within a week or so. The light burnt out and now we are just looking into a black hole. While taking out the old columns on the porch we found ROT and lots of it and realized that the entire porch roof needs to be demo'd and replaced which means the project just got a lot more complicated and a lot more expensive! We called our homeowner's insurance and even though they have a couple thousand dollars worth of premiums from us over the past few years, they are unable to cover any of our damage due to an exclusion in our policy. How convenient. However, the representative explained, if the roof would have fallen off the house due to the rot and caused damage, they would have replaced it. Hmmm.... Anyway, while demoing the roof and the floor, my husband decided to break up the existing walkway as well. So now, lets see where we are at. New roof, new floor, new railings, new columns, new concrete footers, new walkway and lets not forget new stairs. What started out as an innocent "lets make the most of our house" proposal has turned into Extreme Home Makeover, Zeiner Edition.

BUT, let's not forget our blessings in all of this: we have had some very wonderful family and friends helping over the course of this drawn out project, namely my father which the repointing, and our friend Pete with the demo and Shane came out today and helped to get the sidewalk poured God has blessed us with beautiful weather and Jason's dad has been able to donate some wood for us to use to help keep the cost down.

Over dinner tonight, at Jack Creek Steakhouse, using a buy one get one free coupon (from www.jackcreeksteakhouse.com) Jason asked me if I wanted to wait to replace the roof until after winter was over. I thought he was joking. He was not. I told him that I didn't like that plan.

I have posted some pictures to document our journey. I will continue to post to let everyone know how things turn out.

Loose Tooth, Dental Floss and a Doorknob

It was daddy's idea!

Running in the Rain

Ocean Grove July 2006
Originally uploaded by Lynnzee.

We (mom and I) allowed the boys to "let loose" in the rain while we waited for clear skies so we could head to the beace

My Gorgeous Boys

My Gorgeous Boys
Originally uploaded by Lynnzee.

Here are my boys, Andrew is the shorter one, he is 4.5 and Ethan is 5.5.

Saywhatsablog?

This is new for me, please have patience. No one will probably even read this but I suppose I can still use this to express myself creatively (so I think)....others may not share the same opinion regarding the "creatively" part. This is a picture of me and my hubby, Jason (of 7.5 years). We were at Crystal Cave on Sunday (in Kutztown, PA) with the boys. A very nice family day and we were able to get this rare picture of us together captured by our oldest son, Ethan, who is 5. Not too bad, maybe I have a future photographer in my house!